The screams are like spears, like poisoned darts. Sometimes we think that by shouting the child reacts and “learns the lesson” but it is not like that. He reacts because it hurts and because he is afraid. He reacts because they only hurt him and he doesn’t want to be hurt again, but he doesn’t learn anything.
Shouting and threats can cause irreparable damage
We could explain what happens when a child obeys only out of fear and not out of respect or empathy. But there is an even more powerful reason for deciding to eliminate screaming from your life: a chemical reason:
The brain learns best in a safe and secure environment
And not only for children. Numerous studies have shown that adults also work and perform better in a “friendly” environment, where respect prevails over yelling.
When you scream, the emotion of fear is activated and it blocks an area of the amygdala that prevents the passage of new information. The amygdala is responsible, among other things, for the regulation of emotions. He files and regulates them. According to Justin Feinsten, a scientist at the University of Iowa (USA), when the amygdala detects a danger (such as a scream), it activates a response that moves us away from the threat.
When you scream, your brain goes into a kind of “survival mode.” The area of the limbic system where the amygdala is located, deploys a kind of “shield” to protect itself from screaming.
Yelling directly affects the amygdala
The amygdala is like a “sentry of emotions”, and is responsible for activating vigilance or common sense in us, or giving the order to “flee” in case of danger. It does so through neurotransmitters that activate substances such as dopamine, adrenaline, glucocorticoids…
The amygdala is also responsible for storing emotional memories.
The screams will generate negative memories in the memory . And yes, according to the conclusions of numerous neuroscientific studies, the amygdala plays an important role in learning during childhood.
It doesn’t mean you can never scream. You can do it, yes, as an escape route from your stress, from your anguish, as a vital way out, but not as an educational weapon.
Do not confront or threaten children. You can open the window and scream, you can climb a mountain and scream, this allows you to release your fears, anger and accumulated stress. In front of your children, take a deep breath, count to 10 and change the scream to something more effective and instructive, learn to set healthy limits, learn to listen and learn the value of words.
