In this age of technology, we find that raising children is somewhat different from the days before the iPhone, computers and tablets, the Internet, and all the other amazing gadgets we consume . Kids used to play outside, kick a ball across a field, or play cards instead of chasing Pokemon on a screen. The children played outside until the street lights came on, when they knew they had to go inside. Today we are raising children very differently than we did twenty or thirty years ago. Maybe it’s time to go back to basics.
This is a new world. Children born at this time are automatically given gadgets to entertain them. But what are we missing? Psychologists at Harvard University have been studying what makes a well-adjusted child in these changing times . And they have come to the conclusion that there are several elements that are still very basic.
HERE ARE 5 SECRETS TO RAISING A GOOD BOY, ACCORDING TO HARVARD PSYCHOLOGISTS:
1. SPEND TIME WITH YOUR CHILDREN.
It is a simple suggestion. But, we are living in difficult times where we spend 24/7 with technology, work, and the non-stop bombardment of our busy lives trying to stay afloat. It’s not just social media – the news, emails, mobile messages, or the fluctuation of being on call at all times due to the strains of our relationships. We have become used to the addiction of putting all of ourselves into technology. It’s easier to give a child a tablet or an Xbox console to keep them busy.
Spending time with your kids means putting everything aside and reading a book, playing ball, going on a hike, or just playing an old-fashioned card game. In simpler terms, it means that you must interact with your child one-on-one. These are the things they will remember. They will forget what you bought them. They just want to spend quality time with their people.
2. SPEAK OUT LOUD TO YOUR CHILDREN.
According to the Harvard researchers: ” Although most parents and caregivers say their children are a priority, children often aren’t hearing that message .”
This means that you have to take the time to find out what is going on in your child’s life. Check in with teachers, coaches, tutors, and other caregivers. Find out if there is a change in behavior. Let your child feel comfortable coming and talking with you. Your child needs to hear that he/she is the priority in her life. It’s not enough to show it by giving them things, keeping them safe, or feeding them. Children need recognition through words. Words are important. Invite them to sit down and share their stories about school, homework, friends, etc.
3. SHOW YOUR CHILD HOW TO SOLVE PROBLEMS WITHOUT EMPHASIZING THE RESULT.
One of the greatest gifts you can give your child is the ability to analyze and solve problems. Trust your child to decide for himself what he wants. You can’t solve her problems all the time. It is healthy to allow them to experience life through their own perspectives. Achievement is important, and by allowing them to determine what they want, you will be giving them awareness.
You will want to help your child become a productive adult. Let him come to you and share his problems and guide them to make the best possible choices. As a parent it’s hard to stand back and watch your child make a mistake. But just like you, it is part of the learning and part of the evolution of our humanity. You want them to be happy for what they’ve done, and not just feel happy about being a parent.
Rick Weissbourd, who led the study, says: ” We are very focused on our son’s happiness. I wasn’t surprised that happiness ranked highest, but I was surprised that achievement ranked so high. » Are we pushing our children to focus only on success? “ Achievement pressure can have a lot of negative results ,” says Weissbourd, who is co-director of the Making Caring Common project . ” I worry that that will make children less happy .”
4. SHOW YOUR CHILD GRATITUDE ON A REGULAR BASIS.
The researchers state that “ studies show that people who engage in the habit of expressing gratitude are more likely to be helpful, generous, and compassionate, and they are also more likely to be happy and healthy. ” Parents should give their children homework and then express how grateful they are for their achievements. It is important for children to see that gratitude is an extraordinary gift. Every time they do something, honor them and recognize them for their performance. Harvard psychologists found that parents are only praising “infrequent acts of kindness.”
As parents, our duties are to teach our children to be empathic and compassionate with others. Children learn by example. Take them to a homeless shelter. Display them alongside others who are not in the same social class. Let them witness how lucky they are to have what they have at home. Be open with them. Be thankful for the little things they do that have nothing to do with school or work. Helping others is not only giving them the opportunity to be incredible adults, but also eliminating the prejudice of intolerance and differences. It all starts at home.
5. TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO TAKE A BIGGER PERSPECTIVE.
This goes back to showing them gratitude. Let your child experience the world through your compassion. The researchers say that ” nearly all children sympathize and care for a small circle of family and friends .”
Teach your child to be a good listener, to interact without the use of technology, to be empathic with others outside of your family, and not to judge anyone based on their religion or nationality. We are at crucial moments in human evolution, and this new generation has the ability to be great and change our world. Exposing your child to different cultures helps develop a loving, kind, and happy person.
Photography: CanvaSource: Power of positivity